I’ve been struggling with mental health for years, and while I procrastinate from the work I should be doing, I thought I’d talk to all of you.
My mental health has been absolutely awful for many years now. In fact, I thought it had hit rock bottom around a year ago. But, it seems I was wrong and the worst might still be yet to come. So, what exactly is wrong with Bread you might ask? Well, a lot of things but the main thing which always comes back around to haunt me is depression.
I’ve suffered with depression for many years, officially diagnosed in 2018 while in my first year of university. Before that, I had been refused treatment from my local doctors surgery due to being considered too young to have depression. Really? Please tell 13 year old me I’m too young. But, I’m still standing and that’s a positive…
If you’ve been in my twitch chat, or just spoken to me on Discord you’ll probably be aware I’m not the greatest at remaining positive, and I’m trying to work on it, BUT it’s just so hard and It’s definitely a skill I need to continue to try and improve, and maybe writing this blog post will help me to set out some goals!
So, you’ve been struggling with depression Bread?
Why haven’t you streamed? Well, It might be hard for someone who doesn’t understand some of the more least focused on symptoms of depression to understand but I constantly have very little energy. I will wake up, go downstairs, and when I come up I’m exhausted. On top of that I had three deadlines very close together, and all my energy went towards those. Thus, streaming has felt more and more like a chore recently and while I love talking to all of you… sometimes it’s too hard to be entertaining. No one wants to watch me play video games while I’m sad cuddling a cat…. well maybe you would all want to see the cat but still. It’s not exactly going to be fun.
So, that’s where Breadtea has been. Sad and surrounded by uni work. BUT, currently the only pending university deadline is my dissertation due on March 29th 2021 and then two essays due in (May/June. — Not been given the dates yet but it’s between those two months) so time is currently my friend! So, what will I be doing to move forward…. Well today we’re gonna set out some goals ….
- Work on positive thinking!
- Encourage myself to stick to my schedule!
- Work on a work/play schedule which is healthy
- Sleep more than 3/4 hours a day. (It’s not healthy).
So, we’ve got our goals and our therapeutic blog post and If you want to catch up with me you can on all the socials. <3
Until we meet again,